Nothing boils my blood faster than being across the meeting table from a woman who sits there with a perpetual frown. The lines are etched in her face. She has perfected the scowl. She flicks papers in an important way and clutches the pen she is holding, as though about to take note of something that irritates her. Her eyes are narrow, suspicious. She seems offended.
I hope I never become her.
She was a teacher. I don't know how she came to be the person that sits across from me now. The person who grimaces at the thought of a new student in her class. The person who whines, argues, complains....
Did she start out this way? Did she become a teacher knowing that she didn't really care about kids at all? Or was all of the passion bled from her in the continual fight to do her job ethically with no money, no supplies and no support to speak of? Did years of testing students who could barely read, on grade-level standards that held no meaning, grind the joy out of her? Did the continual complaints of parents, administrators, legislators and community members blind her to the sight of a child in need?
I can't help it. My blood is still boiling and it's not because I'm mad at whatever it is that has brought her to this. I'm mad at her. She's complaining about having a child in her class! He doesn't fit in, he's a nuisance, a disruption...unwelcome. Before he has even started working with her, he has been written off in such a way that he will never be able to learn from her. She doesn't want him there. He will know, even if she never actually says the words. And what will he learn from that? Where will he go, when this safe haven of education teaches him that being different means being unwelcome?
No, he doesn't really fit in my classroom, either. I'm happy to say that he's much too high-functioning for a program such as mine. He has a label that seems to fit. The Team has decided that he should be with me to learn some of the skills that he lacks. Perhaps they hope that there is something I can help him with. Perhaps they are looking for a place to dump him. It's not a perfect fit, and not by far the best that we can do for him.
But come Monday, he'll meet a smile at my door, or I don't deserve to be standing there.
Friday, October 1, 2010
Sunday, September 5, 2010
New year, new adventures
Beth says that I will quickly make the word "adventure" synonymous with something akin to "catastrophe" but I can't help it. Life is an adventure, and the life of a Sped teacher is just too action-packed to be called anything else!
So, the new school year has begun. My assistant (and student teacher,) Mark, took the suddenly-open position of the ERR teacher in our severe/profound room. The teacher there (my replacement when I moved to WA, for those of you who follow my meanderings) took a job at an elementary school, and we all wish her the best. I think Mark will be an excellent replacement, and we already know we work well together. We both look forward to a program that is fluid, with lots of support and interaction between the kiddos.
I sent 8 of my cherubs to the high school last year, so my program is pretty depleted. Please, don't share this with the Powers That Be, but there are only 13 kids on my caseload at the moment!! I am, of course, providing services for some of Mark's kids (and he for some of mine) as well as some kids from the E/BD program, but it is a very light year, so far. (Knocks fervently on the nearest wooden bookshelf!)
I really like my schedule and my classroom, too. The room is probably the most open and functional I have ever had. There aren't too many congested areas, and it's clean. Again, so far. =)
This school year has come with a marked change for me--I am suddenly very organized! Several times, Beth (aka my brain) has reminded me to do something, only to find that I've already done it. I have taken attendance on time, kept up with faxes to independent service companies who pester me with requests for IEP's and eligibilities non-stop, called or emailed parents with updates, questions and schedule changes, helped Mark with some paperwork, and kept my desk fairly clean! I think this must be a symptom of my very calm outlook toward the year. It must be SOMETHING like that, right? Again...so far.
Other highlights--more students, teachers and parents have asked Beth and I if we are twins than have ever done so before. We are amused, and reckon we must be channelling some residual Weasley twin energy since our trip to Orlando.
Also, what about the open aide position (Mark's job) you ask? We did some interviews during the first week on duty, and settled on a woman who has lots of experience with kids, and a very open and positive attitude. She starts on Tuesday, and was so excited when we gave her the job that she almost cried, and swept both Beth and I into great hugs. I am hopeful, but more than that, ecstatic to be done with the sub we endured for the first week! (Some horrors cannot be described.)
So, keywords for the year so far: organized, promising, light, and as always, an adventure!
So, the new school year has begun. My assistant (and student teacher,) Mark, took the suddenly-open position of the ERR teacher in our severe/profound room. The teacher there (my replacement when I moved to WA, for those of you who follow my meanderings) took a job at an elementary school, and we all wish her the best. I think Mark will be an excellent replacement, and we already know we work well together. We both look forward to a program that is fluid, with lots of support and interaction between the kiddos.
I sent 8 of my cherubs to the high school last year, so my program is pretty depleted. Please, don't share this with the Powers That Be, but there are only 13 kids on my caseload at the moment!! I am, of course, providing services for some of Mark's kids (and he for some of mine) as well as some kids from the E/BD program, but it is a very light year, so far. (Knocks fervently on the nearest wooden bookshelf!)
I really like my schedule and my classroom, too. The room is probably the most open and functional I have ever had. There aren't too many congested areas, and it's clean. Again, so far. =)
This school year has come with a marked change for me--I am suddenly very organized! Several times, Beth (aka my brain) has reminded me to do something, only to find that I've already done it. I have taken attendance on time, kept up with faxes to independent service companies who pester me with requests for IEP's and eligibilities non-stop, called or emailed parents with updates, questions and schedule changes, helped Mark with some paperwork, and kept my desk fairly clean! I think this must be a symptom of my very calm outlook toward the year. It must be SOMETHING like that, right? Again...so far.
Other highlights--more students, teachers and parents have asked Beth and I if we are twins than have ever done so before. We are amused, and reckon we must be channelling some residual Weasley twin energy since our trip to Orlando.
Also, what about the open aide position (Mark's job) you ask? We did some interviews during the first week on duty, and settled on a woman who has lots of experience with kids, and a very open and positive attitude. She starts on Tuesday, and was so excited when we gave her the job that she almost cried, and swept both Beth and I into great hugs. I am hopeful, but more than that, ecstatic to be done with the sub we endured for the first week! (Some horrors cannot be described.)
So, keywords for the year so far: organized, promising, light, and as always, an adventure!
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